TAKE A MUM-CATION – IT’S DOCTOR’S ORDERS!
When was the last time you had a night away from your children? Not an enforced night away for work or because of illness but a break that you chose to take? Has it been ages?
Maybe you’ve never had a night away. Or perhaps you can’t even imagine having one. But taking a ‘mum-cation’ might be the best thing you ever do. A mum holiday can have huge benefits for you and it can be good for your children too.
In fact, one doctor believes that all mothers should take regular breaks away to rejuvenate. If it comes on doctor’s orders then what are you waiting for? Book today!
HOLIDAYS ON PRESCRIPTION
Dr Nava Silton, a psychology professor, believes that a proper break away from children is essential for a mother’s well being.
Speaking to Fox 5 News she said “Motherhood can be very stressful – whether it’s financial stresses, time stresses, just trying to get a whole lot done in a very short period of time. I think it’s really important for mothers to be rejuvenated and refreshed”.
Silton recommends that mothers take a mum holiday and get away with their friends. It helps them to step away and escape from the demands of family life and really focus on themselves. Breaks with your partner are also a great way to reconnect as a couple instead of as mum and dad.
WHAT STOPS MUMS FROM TAKING BREAKS AWAY?
What holds mothers back from booking mum holiday breaks to recharge their batteries?
THE CHILDREN NEED MUMMY
Your children need you so much. There is always a small person clutching your legs or holding up their arms for a cuddle. You know just the way they like their food to be prepared. You know everything from the favourite plate to use, to the fact they won’t eat their chicken if it’s touching their peas. If they are sad or if it’s bedtime, it’s Mummy they need the most. They need you and it’s too hard to imagine leaving them for any length of time. How would they cope without you? It’s this feeling of need and the guilt about stepping away from this role that stops mums taking a mum holiday.
TAKE THE LEAP
It might take a bit of organising and a whole heap of wrestling with misplaced feelings of guilt for being so self-indulgent, but taking a break for some ‘me-time’ can do you the world of good. And the kids will be just fine. They might go to ballet class without their tights because no one could find them at the bottom of the laundry basket. They might even skip ballet class altogether and go out for pizza instead. But the world won’t end and they’ll be just fine.
A BREAK WOULD REQUIRE TOO MUCH PLANNING
Maybe you can bear the thought of leaving your children for a breakaway. However, then there’s the thought of how much planning and preparation you’d need to put in in order to be able to leave. Just the organising is exhausting in itself. You would need to write lists of instructions, and sub-lists to explain the points on the main list. You’d have to phone around your mum-friends and rearrange the complicated rota of lifts to and from clubs and classes. You’d have to find and wash and place all the various kit they need for the week in obvious places so that things can still run seamlessly when you’re away. As well as all the practical things, there are things you need to explain about how you always stroke your child’s back in a clockwise direction when they are trying to fall asleep. Or how you always squeeze your littlest’s hand three times when you drop them off at nursery. They say ‘I love you’ and you always reply ‘I love you more’. There are so many little details to plan and organise and do to keep everything running like clockwork. Sometimes the thought of how much explaining it would take to hand over the reins to someone else for a weekend is almost unfathomable.
GO ANYWAY – THE KIDS WILL BE JUST FINE
It can feel so hard to even think about going away on a mum holiday that most mums put it out of their minds as an impossible idea. But it’s important for mums to sometimes put themselves first and recharge.
Lorraine Thomas, chief executive of the Parent Coaching Academy and author of The 7 Day Parent Coach, says, “It’s often said that a mum is the engine room of the family. But even if she’s running on Duracell batteries, she can’t survive at optimum levels if she doesn’t have a bit of time to herself.”
Being switched on and at the ready to meet your children’s demands and to feed, clothe and entertain them day in and day out can cause burnout. It can also mean that everyday treasures start to feel like everyday chores. A bit of time out can redress this balance and you will return with renewed energy to take up your mum duties again and appreciate the wonderful moments in amongst the day-to-day routines.
And, of course, a breakaway means that you will get unbroken sleep, which is perhaps one of the biggest luxuries of all for mums. Having not just one but a few great night’s sleep will recharge your batteries and make you feel like a new woman.
SEND IN THE CALVARY
To really be able to relax and switch off when you are away you need to be confident about who is looking after the kids. Leave your children with someone you trust completely, whether that’s your partner, your mum or your mother-in-law. Get them on board even if it means moving them in for the week.
Have as many hands on deck as possible to help out so you know that you are leaving your children with a solid support network. You can then stop worrying and start relaxing.
IT SENDS AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO YOUR KIDS
Dr Silton believes that it’s important for children to recognise that mum has needs too and that they can cope without her for short periods of time. Doing so can build resilience and independence. She says, “It’s very important for kids to see that balance that ideally needs to be achieved in a family situation”.
Karen Pine, Professor of Development Psychology at the University of Hertfordshire also reminds mothers that children will be fine if they are left for short periods of time.
If they are upset then there will be someone to comfort them and distract them. She says “Generally children will not be harmed if their mothers take a break from them. The child might be upset, but you have to balance that against living with a stressed mum who feels too guilty to leave her child for a short time. Children have to learn from an early age that people go away, but they come back. Also, when they’re a bit older, those parents have needs, too”.
You’re also teaching your children an important message about the need to take time for self-care. You are showing them that everyone needs a little time for themselves every now and again. The more they recognise this the more likely they will be to practice self-care when they are older too.
IT CAN BENEFIT YOUR RELATIONSHIP TOO
Taking some time for yourself can also be good for your relationship. Sometimes you can feel buried under the everyday load of motherhood. Your whole life revolves so much around your children. When you get a chance to relax you’re often too knackered to use it purposefully.
If everything you do revolves around the kids then there’s not much left to talk about with your partner. A breakaway can inject a new spark. Honor Rhodes, from the Family and Parenting Institute, says, “When we go away, we become ourselves again and we remember who we are. The adult relationship can run out of petrol, like any tank. When we recharge our batteries, we have something different, new and exciting to give to our partners”.
YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY MUM WHO TAKES A BREAK
A recent survey in 2018 revealed that nearly half of the 2,000 mums surveyed had taken a mum holiday away from their children to enjoy some ‘mum shine’ with their friends. A huge 68% considered ‘mum shine breaks’ to be crucial to maintaining their sanity from the pressures of motherhood. Mums reported coming back from such holidays feeling relaxed, refreshed and re-energised.
The mums questioned didn’t see taking breaks as selfish but they saw them as something that actually made them better mothers.
The best selling author and hugely popular blogger, Constance Hall, sums up the benefits of breaks for mothers perfectly. She writes, “Mums need breaks so that we can Mum properly. Love properly. Live properly”.
So, what are you waiting for? Start browsing our holiday offers now. Share this article with your mum friends to persuade them to join you and book your next ‘mum-shine’ break today.
Call us today on 1800 249 804 or email us to book your Mum-cation.
Full credit to the original author, Mas&Pas – Into Parenting.
This article was originally published here.